How You Do Relationships is How You Do Money
Your mental and relational health can predict your business success as an entrepreneur. Fortunately, where you are today is not fixed. You can grow and learn new ways of being and operating, which really is what the journey to be a successful entrepreneur is all about.
A great example of this is the work by John Bowlby on Attachment Theory.
As human beings, God created us to have the natural drive to attach to one or more key figures in our life, for our own safety. However, this attachment process, which we learn in infancy and some could claim even in utero, can get messed up.
The ideal attachment style is to develop a “secure attachment”. When the caregiver responds in an appropriate and timely way to the needs of the infant for…
- a diaper change…
.. the person learns that the world is safe and there are people in their lives who will provide for his or her need in an appropriate way.
This secure attachment propels the individual to venture out into the world and take risks and explore. Even if something doesn’t go well, the person realizes they have the safe “secure base” to return to.
BROKEN ATTACHMENT STYLES
Unfortunately, the disordered attachment styles of avoidant attachment and anxious attachment create the opposite effect. They set up patterns in business and life that do not lead to the outcomes most people desire.
A caregiver who inconsistently responds to the needs of the child creates a child who is anxiously attached. This person feels an anxious pressure to do more and be more to get the basic responses we all need psychologically.
In business, this person may…
- have anxiety about doing key success tasks in his or her business, like building relationships or dealing with cash flow issues.
- He or she may be extra sensitive to rejection and lack the focus because of that anxiety to ask for the sale or pursue prospects.
- The anxiously attached person may also overkill a situation because they don’t read when it is time to walk away.
For some individuals, the caregiver doesn’t respond at all, which leads to the avoidant attachment style. They learn people can’t be trusted or depended upon and develop an unhealthy level of self-reliance.
These people may actually be good “workers” in positions where…
- they are rewarded for workaholism,
- have tasks that don’t involve other people, or
- who get emotional needs met in a somewhat counterfeit way in the form of accolades at work.
But in the long run, their mental well-being and health are compromised.
REMOVING THE BARRIERS TO SUCCESS
I help people determine if this kind of baggage is getting in the way of manifesting their vision in life and work. It’s often hard for the person themselves to see, and many business coaches miss these key obstacles to the person getting where they need to be.
Christian Entrepreneurs Biz and Life Tip: If you have had a goal that you have not achieved for a long period of time, there likely are limiting beliefs and psychological dynamics keeping you back. Let’s talk and so you can get unstuck: www.talkwithchristina.com