Steps to Stop Resisting Your Goals
Right around the corner after the birth of Baby Jesus are the traditional New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day Holidays. For many, it’s also during this time that resolutions of better habits, more positive results, and wishes for overall abundance are set.
Whether your list includes losing weight, having better work-life balance, improving relationships, or making financial and career advances, there often is a deja vu effect. Many of those resolutions appear on our list every year, often the very same resolutions.
So like the word implies, why aren’t those challenges “resolved”? Why are you still carrying those same 10-15 pounds and maybe a few more? Why doesn’t your balance sheet and P & L look a little better? Why do you still feel stressed, miss important opportunities with family members and friends, and feel out of sorts with conflicting priorities?
Here lies the paradox of the human condition: as much as we want our work and personal dreams to come true with the same and often more intensity, we resist their achievement at the same time.
We’re putting our foot on the gas and the break at the same time.
Isn’t it quite exhausting?
Here are my top three explanations of the logic behind our odd behavior:
#1 Original Sin
Before original sin, Adam and Eve actually wanted to do the right thing. Eating vegetables was preferable and easier than eating Twinkies for our first parents.
After the fall, the rest of us experience the opposite dynamic. Usually, the things we want to change are good for us. Without intentional reprogramming our nature makes us inclined to think, be, and act in ways that are bad for us.
You do the math to figure out the results of repeatedly doing things that are bad for us when we want to improve.
Building on number one, prior to original sin there was only love. Adam loved Eve. Eve loved Adam. God loved Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve loved God.
But then that cunning serpent came on the scene. And what did he do? He introduced doubt. He manipulated Eve, and in turn Adam, to question God’s love and their trusting of him.
Falling for this trap led to fear and shame. When we are in a place of fear, we do not take the actions of abundance.
Shame tells us that it is not just what we do that is bad, but that we are bad. Shame-filled people don’t love themselves enough to take actions of love (or things that will make them and their lives better) towards themselves.
Love motivates one to do ordinary and supernatural things that lead to extraordinary results. Fear and love cannot co-exist.
#3 Our Intuition
Many times we resist actions that will bring us positive outcomes because we haven’t fully analyzed and processed our deepest desires. Achieving some goals can lead to unintended consequences.
For example, if you are committed to personal and professional growth, loved ones may feel threatened. They may unconsciously or consciously attempt to thwart your growth or even engage in active sabotage.
There also is the possibility that your pursuit of excellence is contagious. You may end up to be the catalyst to raise the functioning of your entire circle.
But there are no guarantees either way. If you haven’t fully processed and accepted the potential upside and downside, you may be sending conflicting messages to your unconscious. Your brain can’t actually figure out where you want to go, so it doesn’t know what to filter in or filter out.
I believe one of the ways the Holy Spirit can and does communicate to us is through our intuition. While we may not completely understand all of the internal workings of our psyche, we can get more in tune with how we feel in our gut. When we honor and gently explore what our deeper instincts might be teaching us, God can reveal and help us “resolve” the inner conflicts. This leads to actions that have been putting the breaks on the breakthroughs we want to achieve in our business and personal lives.
Understanding your nature and working with it rather than against it or denying it, sets you on the path to the important “reprogramming” process that leads to the transformation you desire.
Tune in to my part two on “5 Steps to Stop Resisting Your Goals”.
Christian Biz Owners on Fire Biz and Life Tip: Acknowledge that you might be resisting the things you want to create and wait for significant change to happen.